I'm having one of those days where I don't know which way to go...or shall I say, which way my life is going.
Ds starts kindergarten in the fall, so I know my SAHM days are numbered. I could stay at the store where I work now with more hours, but I decided I would instead be a Teacher's Assistant. I have taken the courses required, I have to take the state test in June and then I have to hope to find a job, preferably in my childrens' school. There is something about the place I work now though. It is independently owned, the owner is as good as gold and I can't help but wonder if I'm making a mistake by leaving there.
Why is it that at 37 years old, I don't know any more of what I want to do with my life than I did when I was 17 years old? How can that be? I have sooooo much regret. I'm actually an intelligent being (not intended to be boastful) and I could have been soooo many things. I didn't go away to college, I attended college locally, which I find, was the BIGGEST mistake I could have ever made. How come I feel as though I never had a calling in life? How I wish there was a "magic someone" who could point me in the right direction and lead me down the right path.
I can't help but wonder, will I ever figure this out?